Samuel’s Searching

I haven’t shared very many glimpses into what motherhood has been teaching me (because hello newborn life!) but I wanted to write this moment from a few weeks ago. I want to always remember this one ❤️

As we started getting to know Samuel outside the womb, one of the first things we noticed about him was how he always seemed to have a furrowed brow, made eye contact immediately & held it so intensely with people. It literally would feel like he was looking right through your eyes into you at times. So many people who met him would say “Wow, that eye contact. He’s so alert already”. I wondered if he was going to just be a serious boy?

Then one night when I was putting him to bed, he was giving me that intense eye contact again.  I smiled as I laid him down and it suddenly hit me: “He looks like he is searching for something in my eyes”. I was immediately overwhelmed with the sense that he was searching for something familiar to him…He was searching for the eyes of Jesus. Tears fell as I realized what was happening. I believe it with all my heart: he’s seen the face of Jesus & he is looking for it in

the eyes he connects with here.  He’s locked eyes with the eyes of Jesus & already realizes he can’t live with out that.  His little gaze we labeled as “serious” was actually “searching”.

I told him that night “Baby, don’t ever forget that face. Do what ever you have to do to hang on to that in your heart. Look at Him every day. Tell me about it one day…”. I began to pray “Jesus let him see your eyes when he looks at me.  Let me be so connected to you that My eyes look like yours to my son.  May he find you in me as I find myself in you.”

I’m so thankful that I can mother him with the Holy Spirit & have these moments. These are treasures to my heart.  If any of you have seen this look, you’ve seen him looking for Jesus in you.

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